Among the terrible, horrible stories we hear daily, the stories of mothers losing custody, few are as all encompassing as the events this mother and her children have endured. Coral Anika Theill has pushed passed her pain, with the loss of her eight children- nursing babies stolen from her, to share her story for the world to understand this extraordinary loss.
Robin Karr, another mother having had her children stolen from her, says,” Losing a child ‘through life’ is the most horrific way to lose a child.Until a couple of decades ago, nobody had ever lost a child in this way– at least not in mass numbers. And, children didn’t go missing ‘legally’.”… “No mother should ever have to lose a child through life. It’s not normal. It’s not natural. There is no closure. There is no end to the gut wrenching pain. The wound does not ever heal. In fact, it never even forms a scab toward healing. It remains perpetually open…” “The taking of living children from living mothers is something so terrible, so evil, that there is no way to really describe such a loss. Not really…”
This story breaks your heart, but must be told. We honor Coral, her bravery, her activism, her support for other mothers healing.
Coral’s youngest son; Zachary, this Day, July 13, 2015 turns 20. Happy Birthday Zachary, we pray you find your way back to your loving mother. You are not alone, you were stolen from you loving safe mother who longs to see you and mend each others broken hearts. It’s never too late. the love between a mother and child is like no other.
Reposting: Today my only “mask” I wear (pretending to be stronger than I really am in regards to the abrupt loss of my eight children) is partially falling off and/or cracking . I hurt today. The compartments that I create so I don’t feel raw pain every day, feel as though they are crumbling. I acknowledge that RAW PAIN is okay. I continue to trust the journey, even when I don’t understand. I realize I AM NOT ALONE in this journey, as many mothers have also suffered the horror of alienation from their babies and children via the judicial system. http://mothersoflostchildren.org/about-us/
July 13th is my youngest son’s (Zachary David Warner) 20th birthday. He is my 8th child. Zachary was abruptly removed from me after a temporary custody hearing in March 1996 when he was 6 months old. (For more details, you can read a complimentary copy of my 2013 published memoir at my website: http://www.coralanikatheill.com/…
I have not seen my children or been allowed court ordered visitation for 17 years. Since 1998 I have lived under an address protection program from my ex-husband, my children’s father, for my safety) I did see my son, Zachary, at a football game in 2003, when he was 8 years old, but I did not approach him as I had no right to talk to him per court orders. My older son, Joshua, who was 16 years old at the time, did approach me and hugged me. As punishment for contact with my son, I was served with contempt papers, sued and threatened with jail time. My ex husband has legally stalked me for nearly 20 years – 45 court hearings to date.
There are not always two sides to every story. Our determination to pursue truth by setting up a fight between two sides leads us to assume that every issue has two sides–no more, no less. But if you always assume there must be an ‘other side’ you may end up scouring the margins of science or the fringes of lunacy to find it. This explains, in part, the bizarre phenomenon of Holocaust denial, among other denials, and that river flows through lots of courtrooms.
I have many memories of my son’s BIRTH DAY – both beautiful and highly traumatic. I was blessed to meet my newborn son. I also knew the months ahead would be horrific, as I planned to seek safety from my abusive husband of nearly 20 years. http://www.coralanikatheill.com/…
Preceding the birth of my 8th child, my older son had violently pushed me, and I went into labor. I was hemorrhaging severely before arriving at the hospital. My trusted physician proceeded to care for me, but my husband did not want the doctor to save my life. My physician threatened my husband that they would have him removed from the hospital if he continued to interfere. My husband wanted my baby saved, though. (He was a Prolife advocate, but treated me, the mother, inhumanely.) I did not want my husband with me at the hospital, but had no choice. I was in the hospital for 3 days, on IV Pitocin to help slow down the hemorrhaging. My baby, Zachary, was healthy and we enjoyed bonding.
I had been seriously ill the year and a half before due to long term abuse both in the home. I also suffered nearly 20 years of spiritual abuse and threats/torture from my husband’s pseudo Christian cult leaders, counselors and pastors. http://www.coralanikatheill.com/#!spiritual-abuse/c24pc
This is my story:
After surviving years of childhood and marital abuse and neglect, a woman suffers a physical collapse, partial stoke and mental/nervous breakdown. While in a near catatonic state, the woman is physically assaulted and raped. She becomes pregnant. Toward the final stages of her pregnancy, she fully recovers from her breakdown. She births her baby, and mother and baby enjoy bonding and breastfeeding. The mother cherishes her newborn son. After undergoing several psychiatric tests and evaluations, her physicians state that she is well.
Her abuser, the father of the child, manipulates the judicial system and seeks custody of the baby. With intervention from the religious community and testimony about the mother’s prior mental history, the father is awarded custody of the nursing infant. The mother is ordered to pay her rapist/abuser exorbitant child support while suffering from homelessness and disabilities. She is no longer allowed contact with her child. When the baby is abruptly taken away, the mother goes into shock.
The ‘father of the child’ has committed crimes against the mother according to Oregon statutes and laws (Chapter 743, Oregon Laws 1971, 163.375), but is embraced and rewarded in our judicial and religious system. The victim becomes the . I am this woman; this baby is my child; and the father of this child is my ex-husband.
*A summary of my memoir is documented in a letter to U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley (Oregon) http://www.coralanikatheill.com/…
Preceding the birth of my 8th child, my older son had violently pushed me, and I went into labor. I was hemorrhaging severely before I arrived at the hospital. My trusted physician proceeded to care for me when I arrived at the hospital. My husband did not want the doctor to save my life. My physician threatened my husband that would have him removed from the hospital if he continued to interfere. My husband wanted my baby saved, though. (He was a Prolife advocate, but treated me, the mother inhumanely.) I did not want my husband with me at the hospital, but had no choice.
I was in the hospital for 3 days, on IV Pitocin to help slow down the hemorrhaging. My baby, Zachary, was healthy and we enjoyed bonding.
In the months that followed, the abuse and threats from my husband and his Christian cult supporters escalated as I would not submit to his abuse, go to his Christian cult meetings or submit to the abuse from his Christian cult counselor, Baptist Pastor Bill Heard of Roseburg, Oregon and his wife, Linda Heard.
On March 10, 1996, I was forced, by an Order of the Court, and by my ex-husband, Marty Warner, his attorney, his family and religious supporters, to do something that raged against my good conscience, my common sense and against all my motherly instincts. After a temporary custody hearing, a Court Order signed by Judge Albin Norblad forcibly removed my nursing baby and two youngest children from me. I obeyed the Court Order and gave my children over to my ex-husband. I drove to the hospital, rented a breast-pump and later collapsed and went into shock. I could not understand what had happened and why. I have not yet recovered from the shock; perhaps I never will….
The price for my own safety and freedom in 1996 was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity.
Two hundred years ago a system of legal slavery allowed for the ownership of human beings as if they were livestock. Children were ripped away from their mothers with as little consideration as separating a calf from a cow. In this country today, extreme forms of paternalistic religion promote an institutional form of slavery where a woman must be totally obedient to a husband who has absolute control of her life. The wife’s lot is to obey and bear children. If she rebels and chooses to save herself by escaping from this life, the father—supported by the church community and often by the court system, can forcibly strip a child away from the mother.
Although my children have erased me from their life, I am not dead, I am very much alive, and I have a face, and a name.
I have been and will always be very involved in their life, even if it is only through prayer. I am praying that someday my children will choose to become “aware, awake and conscious” concerning details of their past and present. Their lack of awareness regarding their own life will greatly affect those around him. I pray my children will find good role models and mentors. I also pray that someday my children find the courage to walk through the unpleasant details of their past.
Many of the Christians my children have chosen to socialize and worship with, embrace and support their father, Mr. Marty Warner, Independence, Oregon, a man who has committed criminal acts against his former wife and children. In short, these pastors, (and Bridgeport Community Church members), elders and Christians CONDONE crimes against children and women.
This does not support my children’s well-being, only their delusion of themselves and their family.
You will never know where you are going unless you truly understand where you came from. It is important to take care of the “contamination of the past.”
While many people focus their outrage on the judicial system alone, it’s easy to lose sight of broader problems that assist in the culture of abuse—like churches, pastors, family members and the local community. These elements, too, played a role in the corruption and silence that has allowed a man like my ex-husband, and others like him, to operate untouched for so long.
What I learned through these past few decades is that domestic violence, rape, child abuse and child sexual molestation is socially acceptable in our society and often in many church settings. This needs to change!
My friend, a U.S. Marine, commented on my story in 2007 from the front lines in Iraq, “We receive so many comments from people back in the states ‘Thanking us for their freedom.’ Well, the thought of some of those people being the ones who put Ms. Coral Theill through what she has been through makes me ask the question; “What the h-ll are we over here fighting for, so the American man will have the freedom to do what? Abuse, rape, torture not only strangers but their own wives! We give people from other countries the benefit of the doubt, more respect and better treatment than our own women, and did I fail to mention those other people are trying to KILL us! I will go on patrol tomorrow here in Iraq and risk my life and the lives of my fellow Marines so Coral Theill’ ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner, and all those supporting him can continue to do what they do! Only in America.”
Here is an excerpt of a letter from Sergeant Major Brian K. Jackson, USMC (Ret) to Mr. Joel Corcoran, U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley’s assistant, May 9, 2013, regarding my case history:
“As I watch the news today, I see all sorts of other cases pretty similar to Coral Theill’s. The thing that I just do not understand about our “system” is why or how can we allow what happened to Coral (and is still happening) to happen. Some are held against their will, raped, battered, abused and then glorified as are the three ladies from Ohio. Guys are considered “heroes” as a result of being the person to make a phone call to the authorities about it. Then we have those in the same situation (and maybe even worse) who are blamed, ostracized from society, stripped not only of their children but of their dignity, ridiculed, and even forced into hiding and receive absolutely no support from anyone in the justice system who by the way are supposed to be by the people, of the people and for the people.” –
*This is a letter I wrote my son for his 18th birthday 2 years ago. I sent the letter via registered mail as well as gifts and pictures of Zachary and me. I am not sure he received his letter and gifts. I did not receive any reply. My son lives with his father, my ex-husband.
July 9, 2013
Wishing you a happy 18th birthday! I wanted you to know I was thinking of you, especially today. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. You were and always will be a precious “gift.” I hope this year brings you many wonderful memories and experiences.
Every day, every year, every holiday I have thought about you. Even though I have not been allowed to see you or be a part of your life, no one can take away the fact that you are my son. I love you and continue to pray for your highest good.
I hope my contacting you does not upset or disturb you. That is not my intention. I understand that your brothers and sisters do not wish any contact with me. I do not know how you feel.
Since 2003, I have not been allowed to write you or send you gifts. You were only eight years old at that time. Your father and his attorneys have spent a lot of time and energy the past 18 years to make sure I was not allowed in your life.
I wrote my memoir, BONSHEÁ Making Light of the Dark, this year and dedicated it to you and your brothers and sisters. My book was published March 2013. I hope if you ever feel led to read it, it will provide answers as to why I was not in your life. In my book, I included many affidavits and court documents that may answer some of your questions.
Your father was ordered by the Court judge in December 2003 to make sure that you and your brothers and sisters received professional counseling in regards to your parent’s divorce.
I hope someday, when the time is right for you, that you will have the opportunity to speak with a professional counselor – someone who is not a part of your family, church or school community – in regards to your past and present family history.
The day you were removed and taken from me physically, you were only 7 months old. March 10, 1996 was one of the most traumatic days of my life.
I wrote in my published book and memoir:
“On March 10, 1996, I was forced, by an Order of the Court, and by my ex-husband, his attorney, his family and religious supporters, to do something that raged against my good conscience, my common sense and against all my motherly instincts. After a temporary custody hearing, a Court Order signed by Judge Norblad forcibly removed my nursing baby and two youngest children from me. I obeyed the Court Order and gave my children over to my ex-husband. I drove to the hospital, rented a breast-pump and later collapsed and went into shock. I could not understand what had happened and why. I have not yet recovered from the shock; perhaps I never will….”
I hope to visit Oregon this year. If you would like to meet sometime or if you want me to call you, please let me know.
If you ever wish to speak with or meet my friend, Judy Bennett, she would be happy to speak with you. Judy lives close to you in Monmouth, Oregon. Judy and her husband met you when you were a baby.
Her address and phone is:
Judy Bennett, XXXXXXXX, Monmouth, Oregon 97361
Judy’s Phone number is: (503) 838-XXXX
I love you and have missed you more than words can describe.
Hope this year is your best year ever!
“Coral Anika Theill”
My face book page:https://www.facebook.com/BonsheaMakingLightOfTheDark