WHY I MARCH – by Coral Anika Theill, Author, Advocate, Speaker & Reporter www.coralanikatheill.com
“Historical responsibility is defined as an individual’s answerability for committing or failing to commit acts that would have affected the outcome of any given situation.” – Lucy Dawidowicz
(WASHINGTON D.C.) – Nurturing and loving mothers losing permanent custody of their children is such depressing subject matter. But we cannot indefinitely avoid depressing subject matter, particularly if it is true.
Most individuals prefer not to hear the story of how a cultured people turned a blind eye to consenting to the “legal kidnapping of children through America’s family courts” and how the majority of our society, consisting of cultured people, remained silent.
Losing permanent custody and visitation of your children feels like being doused in oil and set on fire. Healing is slow and difficult. The pain never goes away. One doctor describes removing a nursing infant from a mother similar to castrating a man.
I lost custody of my eight children, including my nursing infant, 18 years ago, per a court order signed by Judge Albin Norblad on March 10, 1996, in Polk County, Dallas, Oregon.
The price for my own safety and freedom was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity.
Forcibly taking a mother’s children, and then controlling her emotionally by withholding contact must be publicly recognized as one of the greatest forms of ‘mis-use’ of the American justice system and one of the greatest hidden vehicles for wide-spread socially approved physical and emotional abuse and control.
Oprah Winfrey often states on her program, “America is the safest place in the world for women.” Tens of thousands of mothers in America would be quick to disagree with Oprah’s words. We bear invisible, but permanent battle wounds from years of abuse in America’s family court system. Our mental scars and years of court documentation prove that seeking safety in America often costs more than money. The price of safety in America has been too high for all of us – it cost our children and our right to be a mother.
Dr. Clarissa Estes writes, ‘A culture that requires harm to one’s soul in order to follow the culture’s proscriptions is a very sick culture indeed.’ I think this is true. By obeying the Order of the Court, I betrayed my soul, my children and myself. I was forced to make a choice that no mother should ever be forced to make.
William Styron, in his book, Sophie’s Choice, expresses some of my spiritual and emotional feelings concerning the loss of my children. He writes, “What Sophie is forced to do is not a choice at all, but is instead a torture without rational foundation, and her experience permanently and irrevocably erodes her sanity and her ability to continue living.”
Society accepted the circumstances that I and thousands of mothers have been forced to survive as “normal.” Some of those who have deep legalistic religious persuasion believe that the cruelty and injustices I have experienced are God’s way of punishing me for seeking safety and divorcing my abusive ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner.
One attorney informed me I would need one million dollars for attorney fees in order to ever have contact with my children again. For the right to love and see my children, monies would be needed for legal fees due to my ex-husband’s legal stalking and ongoing battles in court. I have not seen my children for fifteen years. Since 1999, I have lived under a state address protection program from my ex-husband.
I realize I live in a very sick and twisted society and it hurts.
I find it ironic that while America has been involved in two wars in the Middle East and insist that they are improving the women’s lives in Iraq and Afghanistan, the hearts of tens of thousands of America’s mothers are laying on the ground.
Experts at the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence estimate that more than 58,000 children each year are either placed into dangerous homes or forced to go on unsupervised visits with their alleged abusers by divorce courts that simultaneously deny the children’s safe, protective parents access to their sexually and physically abused children.
Many battered mothers who have lost custody of their children will end up homeless due to the ongoing court abuse they are subjected to in America. I know this to be true, as I was homeless, too, due to my ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner, legally stalking me in Oregon’s courtrooms for the past eighteen years, i.e., forty-five court related hearings related to my divorce since 1996.
Unfortunately, even though being aware of this epidemic, talk show hosts and the general news media refuse to address this topic. The court trauma and abuse continues in my life as well as for thousands of mothers in the United States.
We understand Alice Walker’s wise words, “Resistance is the secret of joy, we should challenge whatever oppresses us, anything we love can be saved, the way forward is with a broken heart, we should lead and not project on others what they should do for us, and we are the ones we have been waiting for.”
Many women grow up in homes in which they were conditioned and groomed to be victims. They marry sociopathic abusers, have children with them, and lose custody and/or contact of their children when they become stronger and break away.
“When woman is brought before our man courts, and our man juries, and has no bruises, or wounds, or marks of violence upon her person to show as a ground of her complaint, it is hard for them to realize that she has a cause of appeal to them for protection: while at the same time her whole physical system may be writhing in agony from spirit wrongs, such as can only be understood by peers.” – Elizabeth Parsons Ware Packard
Author and advocate, Elizabeth Packard, wrote the above paragraph 136 years ago in her true life story and book The Prisoners Hidden Life or Insane Asylums Revealed (1868). Elizabeth Packard was unjustly incarcerated in an insane asylum in the 1860s, because she didn’t hold the same ideology and beliefs as her legalistic, Christian husband.)http://www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Packard
Elizabeth Packard came out on the other side better than I did, since she was set free from her oppressor by the courts, and retained the support of her children. After reviewing her story, it is my opinion that the courts and religious systems have both regressed over the past 100 plus years.
Nothing, nothing prepared me for the horrors that tens of thousands of women, including myself, experience in America’s family court system.www.coralanikatheill.com
Crisis in the Family Court-
“Most batterers know they can bring criminal and contempt charges at no expense to the abusers, but they take an enormous financial and emotional cost on their victims. The result is that many abusive men drag on the litigation and file spurious claims openly acknowledging they are trying to drive their victims onto welfare or into homelessness; half of all homeless women and children in the U.S. are homeless because of domestic violence.”