A National Scandal: American Mothers March to Defend Motherhood and Children’s Human Rights

Mothers of Lost Children march from the U.S. Capitol to the White House in Washington DC to protest children being taken from safe mothers and given to battering or sexually abusive fathers through family courts.  This governmental cover up is similar to Penn State and the Catholic Church cover-ups. Mothers will protest at the Department of Justice and Demand Equal Rights for Women and Protection in Courts across America for whistle blowers who have the right to Defend Childhood.  Mothers are bringing attention to child trafficking in the Courts, and  States Judges who fail to Protect.  Help us send a mother from each state to represent the rights of mothers and abused children.

 Mothers March on Washington DC to end Child trafficking through the courts

October 1 – 2, 2014  Mothers of Lost Children demonstration and Lobby Day in Washington D.C.  Flyer from May

California – Napa, Historical “Broken” Courthouse 12 pm

OCTOBER IS VIOLENCE IN THE FAMILY AWARENESS MONTH, Mothers of Lost Children (Mothers who have lost custody after reporting abuse)- bring attention to children of Domestic Violence.  October 1st is recognized as the National Safe Child Day.  Throughout the month communities across America will be participating in a campaign to bring attention to this National Scandal – Child Trafficking. We invite Mothers and Supporters from across the nation to join us in making the Safety of Our Children a National Priority.

To commemorate the National Safe Child Day- Mothers across the Nation will Protest  at Courthouses, State Capitals and the White house.  Delivering the message A Nurtured Childhood is Endangered, Declaring that we must make Safety the first Priority in US child custody Policies.

Vote like a mother-Mothers of Lost ChildrenHeal Mothers FlyerBring back our Girls and Boys

Vote like a mother-Mothers of Lost Children




Prayer During Child Custody Battle

Prayer During Child Custody Battle

Most, ‘Mothers of Lost Children’ pray and protest.  We come from different faith beliefs and varied spirituality.  For many mothers prayer is very comforting, and hold a belief that the energy around prayer can bring about change. The following Christian prayer was first Posted March 1, 2013 by Tina from One Mom’s Battle

Prayer During Child Custody Battle

Note from Tina: I do not know who the author is but wanted to share this one again:

Dear heavenly Father,

I thank you that you are a Father and that you understand all of my feelings and love and great desires for the well-being of the children you have given me to love, nurture and care for.

I thank you that when Jesus was baptized, you felt great pride and said, “You are my Son whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” (Mark 1:11) I thank you for giving these children to me. They are such a precious gift from you. Here are some of the things I love most about being in their lives….(list your own items).

I thank you that you gave custody of your own son Jesus to earthly parents to raise knowing that there would be times when they failed to understand Him and times they couldn’t be there for Him. I offer up to Jesus the times that I felt I might have failed to be the parent I wanted to be and the times I couldn’t be there for my children …

Today Father, I am very concerned about the future of my children. My heart is aching and breaking. I offer up to you the specific circumstances that we are facing …(list your circumstances).

Show me how to express love to my children in ways that they will understand. Give me wisdom well beyond my own on what to tell them and what not to tell them about the custody issue…

Keep the lines of communication open between me and my children. I pray your power against all physical and psychological interferences that would block me from my children. Protect against all false and misleading statements made to my children including…(list your own items here).

I pray that the truth will come to light in all areas, particularly in…(personalize).

I pray that you will show me a way to vent my frustration, anger and sense of injustice in healthy ways without having it boil over and cause problems. Here are the things that I am angry about. Thank you that you are listening…

I pray that you will give discernment to all judges, lawyers, social workers, mediators and child advocates so that they might make sound, wise decisions concerning my children. Give them hearts of love; make them good judges of character. I also pray that Jesus will be my advocate as it says in the Bible. (Romans 8:34; I John 2:1) I pray that Jesus will be my advocate in…(list areas).

I pray for protection for my children when I am not able to be there with them. Father, when I am not with my children, here are the unhealthy influences that I pray you protect them against…(list specifics).

I pray for the person(s) who are causing the difficulties that you will place limits and boundaries on their realm of influence. Help them to see beyond their own personal agendas, motives, controlling behavior and personality problems. Stir up in their hearts love for these children. Help them desire more than all else to provide the children with a stable, loving, protective, healthy home atmosphere. Help the relationship between the person involved and myself to be rational, cooperative, sensible and focused on the well-being of the children and not on any past issues between us such as…(list specifics).

And finally, I pray for wisdom and guidance as to what specific steps I need to take in this situation. I now listen for your guidance, knowing that when I take the first step, you’ll guide me to the next…

Thank you, loving Father.





Please do not give up your rights:Message from Your Lost Child

mother and daughter

Mother Erased: A memoir

written by an alienated daughter


A Message from Your Estranged Child


I am three years old.  You are no longer in our home and my world is shattered. I saw Daddy’s anger toward you and I will be careful not to make him angry at me too.

I am four years old and my visits with you are dwindling. Please do not give up your rights. Take what action you can, whatever action is right and necessary. Find those who can help you. Find those who will hold you up, because my world depends upon you not giving up. Do not believe Daddy when he says I am better off without you. I need you to know that is a lie.

I am five years old and you dare to show up on my birthday, to deliver a gift. I want you to know that I am so glad you are there, but I am afraid to say so. I see how agitated Daddy is by your presence. I want to tell you, beg you, to please keep coming back. But I cannot say what I need you to know.

My sister is angry at you and tells you not to come back. She says we have a new mother and we don’t need you anymore.   She doesn’t mean it. She will regret that moment in years to come. I will regret that you believed her.

I am eight years old. You have been erased from my life. My sister and I whisper about you in our bedroom at night, in the dark. We don’t dare speak your name, so we call you You-Know-Who. We remember you. Signs of you, a hidden photograph, a memory, they let us know you are real. They ignite something in me, too wounded to dwell in, but at the same time a place of truth and power that I will get to someday.

I am ten years old. If you somehow managed to contact me now, I would probably not respond. It would terrify me to respond.  But without a doubt, I would remember your efforts. I would know that you wanted me. I would know that you tried. This would make me want to find you again when I was ready.

I am fifteen. I don’t know who I am. I have been taught to deny the part of me that came from you. I am trying to fill the void where you were supposed to be. I think I can do this with boys, with teenage affairs, with affection from whoever will offer it to me. The void is deep and will need to be healed with truth, with love, with understanding. I don’t know this yet though, so I just keep trying to fill it with things that aren’t good for me.

I am sixteen. My sister and I sneak away to visit you. Of course we don’t tell our father. I am numb and my sister is still angry at you, questioning you. Where were you? Why did you have that affair that made our father throw you out? How dare you? Why didn’t you come looking for us later?

I am numb, mute, perhaps in shock at seeing you again. You cry and say you love us, have always loved us. I don’t fully take in your words. I am confused. If this is true, where have you been? I’m not sure if I can handle knowing how forcefully our father pushed you away. You don’t tell me this, not directly, and maybe that is good. Perhaps I am not prepared to face this yet and you instinctively know this. I need to hear you say that you want to stay in touch. My wounded teenage heart needs to be reminded of what I knew as a baby, as a toddler, as a three year old: that you love me. You’ve had obstacles, huge obstacles in the way, but I need to know that indifference was not one of them.

I am eighteen. I am free to contact you or visit you, but I am still very much afraid of displeasing my father. I need you to be strong and healthy and to remind me, somehow, that you are waiting. I have wandered so far from that place in my heart that holds us together. It will take patience and persistence on your part. I need to see that you love yourself, so that I can allow myself to love you too.

I am twenty-two. I will want to hear your story. I need to hear your story. And I will believe you. I am not sure what to do with this yet, how to let you into my life. I will have to figure this out. I am angry that you weren’t able to stand up to my father and therefore I was robbed of a mother. I am angry, so angry at my father but still afraid to tell him so, to face him with my truth. This will take time and clumsy attempts, but I will figure it out.

I am every age. I am four and twelve and fourteen and twenty-nine. I am every age in between. Pray for me and for our reconnection. If you don’t believe in prayer, then believe in the power of your own mind and heart. Know the power of your thoughts. Know that you can reach me and hold me in your mind’s eye. Find a way to rise above the negativity and the pain and let love sustain you. Believe that there is some purpose to this mess and that we will both be okay.

I will find my way back to you. It may be when I remember I am your daughter or it may be when I find that bigger part of me, the authentic self who is neither my father’s daughter nor my mother’s daughter, nor a victim; the Self that is whole and empowered and was never lost, never abandoned, never hurt. This could be a long, slow process, or it could happen in a moment, in a word I hear, in a prayer I feel, coming from you.

*I invite you to follow my blog for the complete story which begins here :





Gaslighting? Are you being Cast as the Crazy one?

Everytime we impose our will on another, it is an act of violence   - Gandhi

Urban Dictionary says this about  Gaslighting

A form of intimidation or psychological abuse, sometimes called Ambient Abusewhere false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their ownmemory, perception and quite often, their sanity. The classic example of gaslighting is to switch something around on someone that you know they’re sure to notice, but then deny knowing anything about it, and to explain that they “must be imagining things” when they challenge these changes.

A more psychological definition of gaslighting is “an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim – having the gradual effect of making them anxious,confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception.

Your spouse begins telling you things that never really happened. For instance, he says that last week he told you he was going to go to the bar with his buddies this Monday night, but you never remember him telling you that.

Or maybe your boss gets angry because you didn’t prepare the report he asked you to. When you remind him that he usually prepares that particular report, he snaps that he told you to take care of it a few days ago because he was too busy. However, you know he never asked you to do so.

Both of these could be considered gaslighting.

A practice of brainwashing or convincing a mentally healthy individual that they are going insane or that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false. The term “Gaslighting” is based on the 1944 MGM movie “Gaslight”.

Casting You as the Crazy One

In the classic suspense thriller, Gaslight, Paula (Ingrid Bergman) marries the villainous Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer), not realizing that he is the one who murdered her aunt and is now searching for her missing jewels.
To cover up his treachery, he tries to persuade Paula that she is going mad, so he can search the attic for the jewels without her interference. He plants missing objects on her person in order to make her believe that she has no recollection of reality. He tries to isolate her, not allowing her to have visitors or to leave the house.

If this sounds somehow familiar, you have probably encountered the form of psychological abuse we call Gaslighting. Essentially, it describes forms of manipulation which are designed to make the victim lose their grip on the truth or doubt their perception of reality.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

What is Gaslighting?

May 29, 2014/165 Comments/in  /by 

hotline-gaslighting“You’re crazy – that never happened.”
“Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.”
“It’s all in your head.”

Does your partner repeatedly say things like this to you? Do you often start questioning your own perception of reality, even your own sanity, within your relationship? If so, your partner may be using what mental health professionals call “gaslighting.”

This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home, and then he denies that the light changed when his wife points it out. It is an extremely effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity, which gives the abusive partner a lot of power (and we know that abuse is about power and control). Once an abusive partner has broken down the victim’s ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is more likely to stay in the abusive relationship.

There are a variety of gaslighting techniques that an abusive partner might use:

Withholding: the abusive partner pretends not to understand or refuses to listen. Ex. “I don’t want to hear this again,” or “You’re trying to confuse me.”

Countering: the abusive partner questions the victim’s memory of events, even when the victim remembers them accurately. Ex. “You’re wrong, you never remember things correctly.”

Blocking/Diverting: the abusive partner changes the subject and/or questions the victim’s thoughts. Ex. “Is that another crazy idea you got from [friend/family member]?” or “You’re imagining things.”

Trivializing: the abusive partner makes the victim’s needs or feelings seem unimportant. Ex. “You’re going to get angry over a little thing like that?” or “You’re too sensitive.”

Forgetting/Denial: the abusive partner pretends to have forgotten what actually occurred or denies things like promises made to the victim. Ex. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” or “You’re just making stuff up.”

Gaslighting typically happens very gradually in a relationship; in fact, the abusive partner’s actions may seem harmless at first. Over time, however, these abusive patterns continue and a victim can become confused, anxious, isolated, and depressed, and they can lose all sense of what is actually happening. Then they start relying on the abusive partner more and more to define reality, which creates a very difficult situation to escape.

In order to overcome this type of abuse, it’s important to start recognizing the signs and eventually learn to trust yourself again. According to author and psychoanalyst Robin Stern, Ph.D., the signs of being a victim of gaslighting include:

  • You constantly second-guess yourself.
  • You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” multiple times a day.
  • You often feel confused and even crazy.
  • You’re always apologizing to your partner.
  • You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
  • You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
  • You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
  • You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
  • You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
  • You have trouble making simple decisions.
  • You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
  • You feel hopeless and joyless.
  • You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
  • You wonder if you are a “good enough” partner.

If any of these signs ring true for you, give us a call at 1-800-799-7233 or chat with us online Monday through Friday, 9am-7pm CST. Our advocates are here to support and listen to you.  http://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

What is the purpose of “gaslightings”?

As you can see, this “Gaslighting Tango” is a form of psychological warfare that is both deliberate and progressive in nature between one individual (the gaslighter) and another (the gaslightee). The Gaslighting Effect involves an insidious set of psychological manipulations that are carried out gradually in stages, and repeated time after time, in order to undermine the mental stability of its victim. It is truly a convoluted dance, where finally the unsuspecting gaslightee believes that they are going crazy. Anyone can become the victim of these gaslighting maneuvers; age, intelligence, gender, creed is no barrier against narcissistic abuse of this kind. It does not only happen in romantic relationships (such as Paula & Gregory above), it can occur in all different types of relationships: between parent and child, siblings, friends, and work colleague. Actually, it can happen between any two people in any walk of life if the intention is there. The gaslighting, as a harassment technique, starts with a series of subtle mind games that intentionally prays on the gaslightee’s limited ability to tolerate ambiguity or uncertainty. This is done in order to undercut the victim’s trust in their own sense of reality and sense of self, thus resulting in confusion and perplexity for the victim. Even when the victim is bewildered and left wondering, “What just happened there?”, there is a reluctance to see the gaslighter for what they are, actually it is this denial that is the cornerstone of the gaslighting relationship.  http://narcissisticbehavior.net/the-effects-of-gaslighting-in-narcissistic-victim-syndrome/



US Judges give Special Consideration to Entitled Men and Pedophiles

Ressurrection Graves writes: “So, because the father is believed to be unable to handle himself in prison, or deal with the custom that prison life offers, he’s given probation so that he’s warned not to continue raping his child. I wonder if this judge is a part of the pro-pedophile agenda, wanting to relax laws and actually legalize sexual abuse of children.”

Asshole of the Day: Judge Jan Jurden, for letting a rich child molester avoid prison

Judge who sentenced DuPont heir to probation expressed concern about no jail time, transcript shows

A Delaware judge who sentenced a DuPont heir to probation for the rape of his young daughter didn’t say “he will not fare well in prison” during the hearing, though the comment was in the notes section of her sentencing order.

But defense lawyer Eugene Maurer did make the argument during the hearing, the Delaware Grapevine reports, citing the hearing transcript. The Delaware News Journal also has a story and the transcript.

Judge Jan Jurden sentenced DuPont heir Robert Richards IV to probation and sex-offender treatment in 2009 for raping his daughter beginning when she was 3 years old. Jurden also ordered Richards to register as a sex offender. The sentence was part of a plea deal.

The case was publicized after Richards’ ex-wife filed suit seeking damages for sexual abuse of the child. The controversy resulted in death threats against the judge, who was assigned a security detail. Lawyers who supported the judge noted child sex-abuse cases can be difficult to prove and have suggested the criticism surrounding the sentence has been unfair.

Richard Kirk, who chairs the Delaware State Bar Association Committee on Response to Public Comment, has said it is “speculative and misleading” to assume the comment in the notes section about not faring well in prison reflected Jurden’s own feelings.

The transcript suggests the comment reflected Maurer’s argument for avoiding prison. He said Richards needed treatment both for psychiatric and sex-offender issues. “I hope with all those factors the court would conclude that he is not a suitable candidate for incarceration. I would not think he would fare well there. In fact, I know he would not fare well there,” Maurer said. “He has a supportive family, and I would ask the court to consider all those factors in deciding what the appropriate sentence should be.”

Jurden expressed some reluctance about the sentence, the transcript indicates. “I have concerns about this,” Jurden told Richards at the hearing, “because arguably you should be at Level Five [prison] for what you did, and I hope you understand the gravity of what you did.”

Richards answered that he does understand.

“But I think that you have significant treatment needs that have to be addressed, and you have very strong family support,” Jurden said. “So, unlike many other unfortunate people who come before me, you are lucky in that regard, and I hope you appreciate that.”



Affluenza as a legal argument-

Ethan Couch, was sentenced to 10 years of probation for a drunken-driving crash that killed four people and injured nine others. At the trial, a psychologist testified that he was a product of “affluenza,” where his family felt that wealth bought privilege and there was no rational link between behavior and consequences.



Stomping on Your Motherhood

repost from JAC Patrissi’s Blog-  May 13, 2012

When The Abusive Partner Stomps on Your Motherhood

We are Thor-moms–wrecking your dreams of endless sugar and tv. We are Firefighter Moms, talking your crazy cat emotions out of your trees. Sweet-earth moms, easy as a breeze, soft as water. Ruefully weeping with laughter as we slip in your puke. Abundant as summer, skating like a penguin in winter. Wisely calling in the rains when we dry up; that is, locking ourselves in the bathroom because we need a minute. Overall, terribly glorious. And this is our day.

Congratulations, mothers.

Today I want to give special congratulations and encouragement to those mothers who are parenting children while managing the ongoing destructiveness of an abusive partner. Motherhood is demanding enough without the overt attacks perpetrated by the partner intent on demeaning you and undermining your authority. Abusive partners target what we love the most as a way to inflict the most damage. So it is no surprise that they often use every means possible to undermine a mother’s relationship to her children. That this erodes the emotional health of the children is not important to an abusive partner, whose aim is to control you. What matters to him is the consolidation of his power that he will gain by manipulating your children away from you.

If your relationship to your children is threatened, there is almost nothing you wouldn’t do to protect it. The abuser knows this, and works to control you accordingly, not hesitating to threaten you with the loss of rights to your children if you do not do what he requires. And sadly, these threats too often come to fruition. Because abusive people are already well versed in lying, denying and blaming, they  often successfully apply these well honed skills to a family court system whose record on supporting protective mothers is abysmal.

If the abuser is not successful manipulating the legal system against you, he can also use the same tactics to destroy your relationship with your children.

Women enduring the ongoing stress of having their parenting sabotaged by an abuser tell me that their first priority is to restore their relationship with their children. They feel a sense of urgency about this that only a loving parent could understand. I’d like to offer one thought to help address the sense of pressing urgency and loss that mothers feel when they are separated either physically or emotionally from their children because an abuser has interfered in their mothering.

It’s a Big Picture thought. Because a wound such as this is so big, we need some big medicine to help salve it. The idea I offer here will not help restore your relationship with your child in the immediate sense that you want. I do honor this pressing need and I want you to pursue every legal avenue you need to; I also want you to offer every olive branch to your children that  you can. But today, I am asking you to pause from these efforts, to take a step away from the pressing urgency you feel on this Mother’s Day, and consider something.

You are still Thor-mom and Firefighter- Mom and Sweetheart-Moms. Even if you have a temporary breach from your child, one that may last for years on end–know this to be true: every loving act you ever gave, every kindness–the thousand wipes, rocking and caresses, all seemingly EtchASketched away by time, exist in your child. Look at the bigger picture of the life-long well-being of your child, even if you have an adult child.

Your gifts will be available to your child, even as an adult, for the rest of his or her life. Your child’s journey is one of figuring out how to relate to the abusive voices inside of him or her. She or he must learn to discern the love from the manipulation. Your child will know that there are two paths always available, and one, the one of honest loving,  will have your name on it.

In everyday time, the abuser may seem to win–older children of abusers often choose to spent holidays with the abuser because it simplifies their lives not to go to war with him. They also argue with you in ways that they would never dare argue with an abuser–because they can. This is not fun news for you. This is not what you are due. But if you can remember the long haul–your child’s long haul ahead, some of the pressured feeling that you must get your child to return to right relationship with you might be lifted a little. You might hold the temporary distance you experience from your child differently. I say ‘temporary’ because your child will recognize love–even if it is years and years from now. Your truly loving gifts will become clear.

Think how hard it was for you to untangle yourself from the abuser–to understand what he really  was to you. It is as hard for your child. You can focus on this today: that for your child’s long life ahead,(God willing) your gifts of love, already given in such plenty, will always be available. You can never not be the mother of this child; his or her very cells were made in your love. You may not get the shiny, breezing Mother’s Day that you so well deserve, but your true gifts have already arrived. Your child will spend a life learning to harvest them.

JAC Patrissi’s Blog


Written May 13, 2012


Revise the Hague Convention so Children can Go Home Together

Petitioning Permanent Bureau Hague Conference on Private International Law

This petition will be delivered to:

Permanent Bureau Hague Conference on Private International Law

Support the Going Home Together Campaign 2015. Stop The Hague Convention being used as a weapon against Expat mothers who just want to return home with their children after a failed relocation abroad. Read our 6 proposals. Revise The Hague Convention!

The Going Home Together Campaign 2015

This year hundreds of babies and children around the world will lose their mother because of ‘The Hague Convention’. We are launching this campaign to revise and redefine the law to allow justice to be done.

The ‘Going Home Together’ campaign is about changing the law for parents that come from the same country but move abroad. In cases where the parents split up and one parent does not want the other to return home with the children, The Hague Convention can be used to enforce the entrapment of the children in a foreign country. This was not the original intention of The Hague Convention but its use is causing many problems for children worldwide. This campaign hopes to highlight the injustice of this scenario and gives 6 proposals for change to the convention.

Case study

A British couple move from the UK to Spain with their 6 month old baby. After 6 months they split up because the father becomes violent towards the mother. The mother is the primary carer for the child. The mother wants to go home to the UK with the baby but the father blocks this because he would rather stay in Spain. The mother is forced to start a court case in Spain to get permission from the court as the father said he won’t let the baby leave Spain. She waits for 2 years before it comes to court, she has no money and is sleeping on her neighbour’s floor. She can’t find a job and has no real friends. Before the court process has finished (another 2 years) she has had to go home without her baby (now 3 years old) because she cannot afford to stay in Spain – either emotionally or financially.

Why didn’t she just take the baby home?

If the mother had just taken the baby back to the UK the father would have used ‘The Hague Convention’ to get the police and social services to bring the baby back to Spain. The mother would have been classed as a ‘child abductor’,  and it would have damaged any court case the mother might have attempted later.

Proposed changes to the convention:

1.     Change the name – ‘Abduction’ is not accurate in ‘going home’ cases! The term ‘Abductor’ that the ‘The Hague Convention’ uses is both misleading and unhelpful to this situation. According to studies by Reunite in 70% of ‘abduction’ cases it is the mother who just wants to go home. In 90% of these cases she is the primary carer. The terminology and attitudes need to change.

2.  Article 4: The term ‘Habitual residence’ needs to be re-defined.

a) A child should be classed as ‘habitually resident’ only after a 2 year period living in that jurisdiction. This would allow families to be given a 2 year cooling off period after they move to a foreign country.

b) There are certain circumstances where the term ‘habitual residence’ should be less of a block to a child returning ‘home’. For example: when the parent does not have a permanent visa to stay; when both parents come from the same ‘home’ country; when the child was born in that ‘home’ country; when children live in an Expat community abroad and they are not in contact with ‘ a different social structure, culture and … language.’ *

3.    Article 11: (an addition) ‘Going home’ cases need to be dealt with rapidly and resolved in less than 6 months within the country of ‘habitual residence’. This should be understood worldwide as good practice in accordance with ‘The Washington Agreement’

4.    Article 13 b) Returning to an intolerable situation  (After a child has moved without permission) Certain relocation cases should be transferred to the ‘taken to’ jurisdiction:

a) If there has been violence committed towards the mother as primary care giver it needs to be recognised that the child will be in an intolerable situation if returned to that place. The child should not be returned because of safe guarding issues.

b) If the primary caregiver is in an intolerable situation (financially, risk of violence, emotionally, physically), it follows that the child will be too. Therefore, the court should not return the child.The law needs to accept the fact that to young children (pre-school age) the presence of the primary carer (according to Reunite it’s 90% mothers) is more important than the location of where they live.

5.  Additional safeguarding must be added to the convention:

If The Hague Convention does apply and children are to be returned, the country who requested it must ensure the parent and child have their financial and legal and safeguarding needs met whilst the case is in court. There should be an upper waiting time limit on this court of 6 months. After this time the primary carer must have the right to return with the child to their home country and have the trial there instead.

6.  Immigration Law and Family Law must match up

The current laws are in conflict with one another.  Families are moving to countries on temporary visas with no permanent right to remain there, yet children are being returned to countries under the Hague Convention whilst on temporary visas.  Mothers are being forced to leave their children after failed migrations because they cannot obtain a visa to remain in their own right following a separation from the father.  Children should not be forced to return to a country that they have no legal status to remain in.

Current Case Study:

A British family move to Australia in 2012 on temporary visas that expire in April 2016.  The visa is obtained by the mother for work reasons and her husband and children are dependents of her on that visa.  The family intend to live and work in Australia for three years and return to England in 2015 for the children to start school in September of that year.  In 2013 the mother and father separate and file for divorce.  The father cannot remain in Australia in his own right beyond 2016 but objects to the mother leaving Australia with the children when they originally intended and refuses to consent to them leaving.  The mother cannot return home with the children as originally intended because she would be guilty of ‘child abduction’ and the children would then be forced to return to a country until at least April 2016 when they would then be there illegally and all four members of the family would have to leave anyway.  The mother is now faced with the option of remaining and doing nothing until the visas expire and the children miss the start of their UK schooling, or she pays thousands of pounds in legal fees to try and be allowed to ‘come home’’ as originally planned.

Please support our ‘Going home together’ campaign. It will mean happiness for many hundreds of children and mothers all over the world.

Re-send this letter and sign our petition. Many thanks,

the Expat Stuck Mums


When a Mother Disappears: the Words from a Stolen Child

mother and child 24

Mother Erased: a memoir

written by an alienated daughter


6. Surprise Visit

I am stunned by all the responses, all the parents writing to say that they have been pushed out of their children’s lives. I grew up thinking this could not have happened to anyone else. No one else’s mother disappears, which had made me feel deeply ashamed, though I hadn’t named that; I had just felt it somewhere beneath the surface of my heart, because children always assume it is their fault when a parent leaves. I had known my father had something to do with it though. And perhaps my mother had done something bad, something that made him furious.  I knew it wasn’t only my fault.

To offer my words now, to help a parent understand her own child, gives some purpose to my story; to shed a sliver of light that leads the way to the heart of another child, even if they don’t respond. But I hope they do and you should hope too. Don’t stop believing that they will.

By taking care of my own children, now all nearly grown, I have learned to care for myself as well. To be ones own mother is a gift we are all afforded and it  should not be taken lightly. We can lead ourselves out of the dark, like a mother would do if she could. I have so much to be grateful for, not the least of which are my words, flowing through me, turning old pain into power, into light, into love.


It is my fifth birthday, in July of 1971, and my father has been remarried for a few months now.

There is a knock on our door and he answers it. I am playing on the floor of my bedroom,  which is off of the kitchen, and my door is wide open. I hear my father mutter something quietly in an angry tone. When I look up, I see Lisa. She is holding a box wrapped in pink tissue paper, and she walks hesitantly to my room.

From a distance, I think I hear the door to Memere’s downstairs apartment open and then my father calling after Kate-or Mom as we are supposed to call her now.  He walks down after her. I know my father is angered that our old mother is here.  I am uneasy, cautious. I feel like I am dreaming.

Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail.  And her face-do I look at her face? She says something and then hands me the present and watches while I open it.  It is a mechanical puppy, brown with a red collar, and when I press a button it walks and lets out an abrupt, high pitched yelp at the same time. I keep playing with it with such focused attention, pressing the button, watching it walk, picking it up, again and again. I almost forget that Lisa is still standing there. Is she standing there? Is this real? I feel dazed, but  I don’t want her to leave. If only I could say so.

Lisa pokes her head out of my doorway and calls out to Amy.  From where I sit I can see Amy turn to face Lisa, to look at the woman who used to be our mother. Lisa walks out of my room and my daze I can hear them talking.

“Do you want to see me anymore? Do you want me to visit you again?” Lisa asks Amy, gently.

“You don’t need to”, Amy says firmly, angrily.  She is only six years old but there is power behind her words. “We have a new mother now.”

And I know that Lisa will never be back.

I don’t know if it is a minute or a half hour later when Lisa leaves. Amy has gone downstairs to join Kate and our father in Memere’s apartment.  I don’t want to go down there, but like a sleepwalker, I put one foot in front of the other until I am there.  I find myself down there.  They are consoling Kate who has been crying because Lisa was there.

I know I am not supposed to love Lisa anymore. I know of my powerlessness, but I keep the feeling contained, I put it away. I leave it somewhere within me, somewhere I mustn’t go.

I stay there in the doorway.  I betray myself with my silence.  http://thefourthagreement.wordpress.com/


A ‘Kafkaesque’ Nightmare: How a Molester gets Custody

RAW: Mother's lawyer Jack Hittrich

‘The more she protested, the more she was labelled as being crazy.’
- Jack Hittrich, lawyer for the mother

“It was, it was like, one professional described it: ‘Kafkaesque’ is the best term that comes to mind. It’s as if the people involved were just twisting everything,” the mother said.

A story repeated in every first world country, fit loving mothers losing custody to dangerous and entitled men through ‘family courts’.  Our fundamental civil rights as humans are under assault by the judicial branch in our democracies.

Father given unsupervised access to children he molested

Woman discovered spouse was sexually abusing their kids, but he convinced authorities she was ‘crazy’

She called the Ministry of Children and Family Development’s helpline the next day, and called the Vancouver Police Department several times to seek assistance.

An order of the court was issued in October of that year, restraining the father from any contact with the mother or the children.

However, in December 2009, Justice Paul Walker — the same judge who ruled in the couple’s later custody dispute — varied this order to allow the father supervised access to the children for specific hours.

Throughout this period, the father, along with his family and friends, made calls to Ministry workers and eventually the police, registering concerns about the mother’s mental capacity.

In his custody dispute judgment three years later, B.C. Supreme Court Justice Paul Walker deemed the behaviour “a baseless attempt to discredit her.”

However, at the time, the authorities decided the frantic mother was unreliable, and also likely in need of a mental assessment.

The Ministry took the kids away from their apparently unstable mom, and placed them in foster care, with an aunt and uncle, in December 2009.

After a series of interviews with the parents and children that December and January 2010, the senior investigating VPD officer, along with officers from the RCMP Behavioural Sciences unit, determined that the allegations against the father were unfounded, and closed the investigation.

Later that year, a social worker began allowing the father unsupervised access, contrary to the original 2009 court order, which their mom says allowed the abuse to continue.

‘The more she protested, the more she was labelled as being crazy.’
- Jack Hittrich, lawyer for the mother

“It was, it was like, one professional described it: ‘Kafkaesque’ is the best term that comes to mind. It’s as if the people involved were just twisting everything,” the mother said.



OHCHR header
The complaints and petitions being submitted to  the United Nations, Human Rights Committee and CEDAW,  reflect the  thousands upon thousands of women being discriminated against in Family Courts in every first world country around the world, in countries where it is believed that women  have rights and freedoms.
These man made  civil case laws/court orders are being used to threaten and intimidate to  deny women and children their humanity and deprive children their mothers they need and love,  constitute  a crime against humanity of torture.
The petitions and complaints to the UN represent how  mothers and their  children are being cruelly punished and inhumanely segregated from one another, often for years, held like hostages, isolated and confined from one another by  Family court orders after reporting domestic and child sexual abuse.
When women are required by law to report abuse and rely on government services to protect their children, since Divorce Act Legislation effectively makes it against the law for a woman to defend her own children.  Women who try to within the system available to them,  are often charged with contempt of court, threatened with prison; Women who dare to make a geographical move from their  domestic abuser, are charged with a federal crime, and when tracked down sentenced to years in prison.

Instead of the Governments Services and Courts (Justice Branch of the Governments) protecting children from questionable risk to harm, Family Court Judges are routinely forcing children into the sole custody of their child’s identified abuser they are afraid of.  These extreme orders that deny children their right to safety and sense of security, separating them from their mothers against their will, are being forced upon  tens of thousands of children every year globally.

These extreme custody orders that make no sense, may well be a cover up of organized, international, human trafficking of children for profit in the sexual exploitation to produce child pornography with.

Consider the Canadian Center for Child Protection News Release  data collected by Cybertip.ca  reveals that more than 80% of confirmed child pornography websites analyzed by the organization contain images of children younger than 8 years and 33% of the images capture sexual assaults against the child victims.

‘The statistics underscore the prevalence of the crime and very young age the victims being sexually harmed’ said Lianna McDonald, executive director of the Canadian Centre for child protection.  “The first step in creating these (sex crime) images begins with  the sexual abuse of children in homes and bedrooms with our own communities.  (April 15, 2009)

Another statistic indicates on the   I.C.E. database there are over one million distinct sex crime scenes of young children, most under 12 years, the Police cannot locate.  Most of these sex crime scenes are of white children in homes in North America.
How could this be that the public never hears about hundreds of thousands of  missing babies, toddlers, preschoolers, 5,6,7, 8 year olds who are being raped and sexually tortured?   Who has the kind of access to a baby or toddler or child under 8 years to produce child pornography with, other than someone the child lives with?  Who else could produce child pornography to meet the epidemic demand, than a pedophile?
What if the  3.8% of the extreme custody orders, where children’s disclosures of abuse are  discounted , and forced into a  life sentence with their identified abuser, are the children the police cannot locate?
What if many if not most of these  million plus children on the I.C.E. database,  being sexually exploited are the very children the court has ordered into the unprotected custody of their identified perpetrator?  Since the Police, child protective services and government departments REFUSE to investigate or re-open the reports of these alleged crimes and they are rarely if ever prosecuted in Criminal Courts.
Instead the courts and the authorities,  women who believe their children who disclose abuse and try to protect them are accused of parental alienation, contempt of court, false allegations and routinely defamed and/or slandered women as mentally ill, delusional. When these children need  to be believed and deserve to be respected enough to be protected.  http://cbc.sh/cykKxBY Father given unsupervised access to children he molested, now government being sued in a 100 plus day trial still going on, in Vancouver Canada.

From a woman in the UK

The emperor has no clothes-  

You can probably start by sharing with journalists this piece, a public law school law review article, by a law professor at Northeastern University in Boston.  He essentially is denouncing the top judiciary as an emperor having no clothes.  In our democratic system, any govt personnel who is appointed for life and untouchable is essentially the emperor with no clothes, and based on their gagging practices, are emperors who definitely are tyrant and have no clothes.  They are not Gods.  God is merciful. But Emperors slaughter and imprison those who oppose tyranny and who seek to protect justice, liberty, home, family, life, the basic touchstones of humanity.  Having Our children is a basic human right, moral decency, societal order.  What are mammals without mothers, lest we forget our own basic animal derivative, mammals!  To whom do mammals owe their survival?  To mothers!  When cubs are torn from their mothers, we denounce that as animal cruelty.  What do we call judges who gag from disclosing their tearing human children from mothers?  Human cruelty.  Lawlessness.  Brutality.  Babylonian, who shall fall.
Our fundamental civil rights as humans are under assault by the judicial branch in our democracies.

We are all court-gagged!  Strictly, there are judgements that we are strickly banned from talking about it. CAFCASS officers (court welfare officer for children) fabricate reports and we get evidence for their lying and the judge shouts at us and threatens us with ban of all contact (using the threat of loss of all contact with our children to torture us) and we are not allowed to talk about those CAFCASS reports with ANYONE, even friends, we are not allowed to show it to ANYONE even family!Tens of thousands here have been destroyed by those “courts” and beg for help, many have been imprisoned. The media also cannot report at all only sometimes roughly mention something anonymously…One lawyer showed her case to a colleague and was suspended and charged £20 000 penalty, and her sister was a front bench member of Parliament then!!! The judges here are Gods, literary, and do whatever they like, unaccountable to anyone.


Uppity Women Unite Against Patriarchy







We are Celebrating the Courageous voices of women: SHE’S BEAUTIFUL WHEN SHE’S ANGRY 

We are women resisting heterosexist patriarchy and valuing women as human beings—and other women can choose to do this, too. Patriarchy is also practiced in our courtrooms.

“The legal system is designed to protect men from the superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from the superior power of men. It therefore provides strong guarantees for the rights of the accused but essentially no guarantees for the rights of the victim. If one set out by design to devise a system for provoking intrusive post-traumatic symptoms, one could not do better than a court of law.” ― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery

Excerpt from BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark

“I believe our goal should not be eliminating religion, but illuminating the tactics by which it commands obedience and discourages doubt so that people can recognize these and reject them. It is more important that we all make up our own minds, use reason to guide us, and do not passively rely on faith or authority of religious leaders. Rather than keep our thoughts in captivity, we should set them free to explore wherever they wish – to seek out different viewpoints, to question fearlessly, and most importantly, to expose all ideas to the fire of testing. The ones worth being kept will survive. Humanity has a vast potential to accomplish things as yet undreamed-of, but blind faith will never take us there. If we are to become aware of the dangers that beset us and enter into a future where we can realize this potential, this is the way we must learn to live.

“Two hundred years ago a system of legal slavery allowed for the ownership of human beings as if they were livestock. Children were ripped away from their mothers with as little consideration as separating a calf from a cow. In this country today, extreme forms of paternalistic religion promote an institutional form of slavery where a woman must be totally obedient to a husband who has absolute control of her life. The wife’s lot is to obey and bear children. If she rebels and chooses to save herself by escaping from this life, the father—supported by the church community and often by the court system, can forcibly strip a child away from the mother.

“On March 10, 1996, I was forced, by an Order of the Court, and by my ex-husband, Marty Warner, his attorney, his family and religious supporters, to do something that raged against my good conscience, my common sense and against all my motherly instincts. After a temporary custody hearing, a Court Order signed by Judge Albin Norblad forcibly removed my nursing baby and two youngest children from me. I obeyed the Court Order and gave my children over to my ex-husband. I drove to the hospital, rented a breast-pump and later collapsed and went into shock. I could not understand what had happened and why. I have not yet recovered from the shock; perhaps I never will….

“Material Alienation is the Ultimate Hate Crime: Numerous Christian pastors, church members, Christian school teachers, and my own children and in-laws, have supported my abusive ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner, personally and/or in the courtroom since 1995 – condoning the crimes of domestic violence, kidnapping, rape, child abuse/molestation, and cult and ritual abuse. They have assisted my ex-husband in brainwashing my children to hate me.

“I have concluded by my present circumstances, that the judicial and religious organizations and people who have aided my former husband, Marty Warner, all embrace the same views regarding women and children. They believe male power is absolute over women and great harm will come to those who question and/or defy that power. I believe this is the mentality that causes and perpetuates abuse

“I agree with author James Redfield. He writes, “A group consciousness which speaks constantly of separation and superiority (our religious and legal systems) produces loss of compassion on a massive scale, and loss of compassion is inevitably followed by a loss of conscience.” .” – Coral Anika Theill, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark

BONSHEÁ – Yaqui Indian – “out of the darkness, into the light.”

Coral Anika Theill
Author, Advocate, Speaker & Reporter
Memoir: Bonshea Making Light of the Dark
Website: www .coralanikatheill.com

A startling memoir of one woman escaping an abusive marriage and oppressive religious cults and trying to find “justice” in a failed system. Anyone concerned with issues of abuse and injustice in America should read this book.

“The price for my own safety and freedom in 1996 was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children, including my nursing infant. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity.”




SHE’S BEAUTIFUL WHEN SHE’S ANGRY resurrects the buried history of the outrageous, often brilliant women who founded the modern women’s movement from 1966 to 1971.  SHE’S BEAUTIFUL takes us from the founding of NOW, with ladies in hats and gloves, to the emergence of more radical factions of women’s liberation; from intellectuals like Kate Millett to the street theatrics of W.I.T.C.H. (Women’s International Conspiracy from Hell!).  Artfully combining dramatizations, performance and archival imagery, the film recounts the stories of women who fought for their own equality, and in the process created a world-wide revolution.  http://www.shesbeautifulwhenshesangry.com/findascreening/






Other films about Women’s Human Rights

Rachel Alintoff vs. The Garden State

Return Our Children

Rachel Alintoff is the loving mother of five year old Hayden, a bright and beautiful little boy with Autism. Just two months ago, Rachel had Hayden taken away from her and given to her wealthy, abusive and irresponsible ex-husband, Bryan Alintoff.

As this Facebook page was being launched, Bryan filed a motion demanding child support from Rachel, who earns approximately $22K a year while his salary is well into the six figures. These indignities are only the latest in a war that Rachel has been fighting since she left Bryan. Her latest salvo: an appeal to win back custody of her young son. She is also launching an awareness campaign against the State of New Jersey which, she alleges, perpetuates preferential treatment for rich husbands in divorce cases.

Follow Rachel Alintoff vs. The Garden State and support her cause. Tragically, Rachel is not alone. In fact, she has organized a group of nearly 100 women in similar plight, deprived of their children, their homes and their livelihoods.  http://www.gofundme.com/RachelAlintoff

The word Kafkaesque comes to mind.

Rachel Alintoff needs your support. Like her page, share it and please give to her at http://www.gofundme.com/RachelAlintoff, which she has created to raise funds for her future representation and to fight for her rights as a mother. Join Rachel as she takes on The Garden State, demanding that it return her precious son, Hayden, to her and restore all the children wrenched from their mothers in the course of cruel divorces in the State of New Jersey.

“MOST contested custody cases are actually domestic abuse or child abuse cases in which abusers have been allowed to use the courts to regain control over their victims, and bankrupt the safe, primary care-giving, protective mother.”

Stop New Jersey Judges from forcing defenseless children to be harmed by ABUSERS!


 A Call to Arms – Will you grab your pen and wear the fatigues?

This morning, I, Karin Wolf, along with Rachel Alintoff, and Patricia Pisciotti each filed a criminal complaint at U.S. District Attorney Paul Fishman’s office. They did not want to take us as a walk-in and Rachel got some push-back at reception, but when I started talking about RICO, human trafficking and child pornography, they finally acquiesced. We were not able to speak with Paul Fishman directly, but I spoke with a Federal investigator for an hour, detailing the problems and gravity of what has been happening for years.

In order to keep this going, we are asking everyone to send in their complaints. This is a call to action – let’s inundate them with mail, email, phone calls, and faxes. Here is the link:
U.S. Department of Justice
United States Attorney
District of New Jersey
Phone 973-645-2700
Fax: 973-645-2702
E-Mail: usanj.citizenscomplaint@usdoj.gov